Am I a Disengaged Parent? 3 Steps to Fix it

I’m willing to bet that few of us try to be a disengaged or distracted parent. Life just happens. Distractions are everywhere.

Take, for example, Jesus’ story of Mary and Martha. Martha was busy and distracted, but everything she was doing was in service of others. Mary, on the other hand, simply sits with Jesus and listens to Him — and yet, Jesus says Mary has chosen the better way (Luke 10:38-42).

Parenting comes with an unending to-do list. But those very tasks, even done in love, can lead to distraction and disengagement from our kids. We can forget to prioritize giving them what they need most — our time and attention.

1. Find Perspective

The first and perhaps most important thing we can do is regularly take stock. Create space to look at family life and how time is being spent — with honest and fresh eyes.

For me, this reflection is best done in prayer. A quiet moment, even while folding laundry or enjoying coffee, helps me realign my priorities. Little reminders — like seeing a favorite faith verse on a shirt draped over the chair — often help bring my thoughts back to Christ in the middle of everyday routines.

As Psalm 90:12 reminds us, we need help to “number our days,” to recognize that time is finite, and to pray for wisdom in how to use it well.

2. Refocus

Once you’ve reflected, take action. If you’ve realized you’d love to simply play with your kids more, linger after bedtime stories, or share unhurried dinner conversations, start small.

Significant changes don’t have to be huge. Every journey begins with a single step. A few minutes of undivided attention can do wonders for children craving connection.

Sometimes it helps to create small “anchors” — like having a verse you wear, display, or talk about regularly. A shirt that quietly says “Jesus Full of Grace” or “Cross of Redemption” can become an easy conversation starter with kids about what those words mean, turning ordinary moments into teachable ones.

3. Let Stuff Go

Creating more time for kids often means letting go of something else — chores, commitments, even good things that aren’t best for this season.

Jesus reminds us that living well means choosing priorities wisely. In the parable of the Rich Fool (Luke 12:13-21), He warns against storing up treasures that fade. Instead, He calls us to focus on what truly lasts.

What better investment than building faith in our kids? Even small reminders — a verse on the wall, a phrase on clothing, or a bedtime prayer — can plant seeds that grow over time.